What You Should and Shouldn't Do When Writing Your Wedding Vows

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Your wedding vows are probably the most important part of the entire ceremony They are also the most difficult part of the wedding to plan. Your vows should reflect the way you feel about the other and what you hope will come out of your lives together. The structure of your vows is very important. Although, most couples prefer to work on this individually so do decide to work together to perfect them to the best of your abilities. To perfect your vows, you will want to make several rough drafts. Each starting with something different. For example, open one with how you guys met and in another open with a favorite memory, you guys have together. In the process of writing your vows, you will make several rough drafts and critiques until it is perfected into the most beautiful thing you have ever written.

Although the vows should be somewhat sentimental and personal, they should also be light and a little goofy. You do not want your vows to be too long or too short and you don't want them to be too classic and basic. You want them to be unique. Your vows are something that you want to remember forever and a good way to do that is to hire a wedding videographer. A lot of couples hire a wedding videographer to remember things such as their vows, the look on the bride and groom's faces when they first see each other, the reactions of the audience, and all of the other lovely moments in the wedding.

When you are writing your vows, you want to incorporate the little things like your first meeting, the moment you fell in love, the inside jokes, just things that make you guys the couple you are. When you are reading your vows, you want it to not only get to you and to your spouse but to the audience as well. To capture the most beautiful moments, not only would you want to hire a wedding videographer but hiring a wedding photographer would also be ideal. A wedding photographer can capture the simple moments such as the first kiss, someone laughing, or even someone crying because of how touched they are during the ceremony.

When it comes to actually saying your vows, you have three options: 1) You can memorize your vows; 2) You can read them right off the paper, or 3) You can have the officiator read your vows to the two of you. Most couples choose to read them themselves using the note method. When you start out writing your vows, some people choose to look up other people's vows just to get an idea on what they may want to incorporate in their vows. If you are having a hard time writing your vows, you may want to take a look at some of the examples that we have included here. You can take them word for word, or change a few things to make them your own.

What You Should and Shouldn't Do When Writing Wedding Vows


  1. Do set a time limit or word count. Try to keep both of your vows at about the same length. You do not want your vow too long and romantic while your groom's is short and sweet. You want both of your vows to feel balanced and well-planned. While it's nice to surprise each other with what the vows will say, do plan together on how long (or short) you will both keep them.
  2. Make it personal and meaningful. Let's face it. The main reason you both have decided to write your own vows was that you wanted to make sure it conveyed your love for one another in a unique and individualized way that is specific to your own relationship as a couple. Make sure your vows include a description of why you care about each other and how much you value the fact that the other has chosen to spend the rest of their life with you.
  3. Do try to add some humor to your vows. Try to include some cute and funny anecdotes about how you first met or the first time you met each other's parents or some other funny moment in your relationship. You don't want the entire vow to be all goofy and joking, but a few funny one-liners could really lighten up the moment and entertain your guests. This is really important, especially if you are a couple that was founded on your ability to make each other laugh.
  4. Do hire a professional wedding videographer to record the moment. While keeping a copy of your written vows could look adorable in a frame or wedding album, you will want a video of the exact moment. This is not a part of the wedding that you will want to cut costs on. Uncle Larry may be a pro at video recording the family birthday parties, but you want a professional who can pick up every word and detail of your vows.

  1. Don't get stressed out. Writing your own vows can be extremely meaningful and nerve-racking at the same time. After all, you are confessing your unending love and devotion to each other in front of all of your closest friends and family. This day is about being bound to the love of your life, not putting on a top performance to please your audience. Remember to speak from your heart and keep in mind that you can say can be considered wrong. Even if you have a slight mishap in speaking your vows, little errors can go a long way in making a wedding all the more enchanting.
  2. Don't make your vows too personal. Remember that while this day is all about you two and your love for each other, don't forget that you have an audience that may include children and grandparents. You do want your vows to reference personal aspects of your relationship, but leave out any comments that may be misconstrued as inappropriate, such as how sexy your groom's butt looks in his pants. Save those naughty comments for the honeymoon!
  3. Don't go too far in your humor. You want your jokes to be cute and airy, not raunchy or inappropriate. Avoid jokes that might seem mean or cruel to your audience and don't say anything that would be embarrassing to the other. Remember to always keep your humor PG-rated and appropriate for your audience.
  4. Don't put it off until the last minute. I know you have a lot to think about and do in planning for your special day. But the last thing you will want is to have to scurry around the day before the wedding scrambling for words while you're already stressed to the max. Start copying little notes and thoughts as soon as possible. Find a time when things are calm and you are feeling relaxed to sit down and write out your first draft. Wait a day or two, and then reread it and make any changes you think you need. Take several moments leading up to the wedding to memorize and rehearse your vows. You will be glad you took this extra care when it finally comes time to share your vows with each other.

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